Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Stereotype Malayali

The hero is contemplating the situation. .. before him lies the most desolate place on earth.... no man have ever returned from there .... already faced numerous obstacles but our hero is ready to endure more to reach the goal......he takes the next step, and then another..... finally utilizing the last solace of his willpower he reaches the place.... a place where no man have ever walked... a place whose conquest will take him to the pinnacle of glory..... a place..... What the ......

There stands before him Kuttapan, with his lungi and beedi, smiling nonchalantly at him... and of course, running his tea-shop (Kuttapan's Chayakada)...

This is the running gag about Malayalis; and an incident made me realize this...

Summer 2008: we were taking an adventure trip to Lake District....we were 6, coming from as many as 3 different countries -England, Scotland and Northern Ireland; meeting at Edinburgh and driving all the way back to Lake District...... (No, flying from England to another country and then driving all the way back was not a miscalculation,......... the dudes love to drive and drive and then drive some more… :)

Now when dudes meet after a long time they will be conversing in malayalam...... and since being in a country where no one understands the language, the obscenity used was predictably high.... Add to the fact - Konu, the great personality, hailing from the Land of Poorams, was there... If Konu is present 90% of the conversation will go something like this

" beep beep Konu beep beep beep Konu's dad beep beep beep beep Konu's dads beep beep beep beep one of Konu's dads beep beep ........." *
You get the idea....


Lake district, more famous for its rustic villages, also provides options for adventure sports...like Water Skiing, Kayaking, water bikes......we had chosen Water skiing :O.


Prelude to reaching the boats we were drunk with the delusion of handling anything and everything....but at the brink of actually doing it, the apprehensiveness in the air shot up by 150%.......
Konu decided to improve the situation... He called out loudly (from the bank) to Sino (in the boat some 100 feet away...)


Konu (loudly): Siiinnnnaaaaaaaa.....
Sino: enthu vada.... (What?)
Konu: ninaaakkkuuuu veetil ninnu phone... (You got a call from home)
Sino:
what is it?
Konu (at the top of his voice): Ninte Accchhhhaaaannnn Peeettttuuuuuu..... (Your father got pregnant and just delivered a baby)


A small innocuous joke.....
As luck would have it another family (dad, mom, bro and sis) were coming behind us
Out of 365 days, they choose that day to visit Lake district
Out of 200 countries in the world, they had to be from India
Out of 28 states and seven union territories in India, they had to be from Kerala ...
Yes they were malayalis ....

In the changing room, the brother confronted us ....
Bro:
Malayali analle ... (u guys are Malayalis right?)
Us: (Dumbstruck - realizing the stupidity for the first time)
yes... {idiotic, epiphany smiles}
Bro:
ok...
(To be translated as "@$$%()£3$. We are malayalis as well and have come for a family holiday. Don’t try to pull a stunt like that.... show a little respect...£%£$% "$^"$%"£$% !£$%!$!"£$ $%%^"$%^"

There is a reason behind the Malayali image after all....


*censored.

1 comment:

Alex Mcone said...

Yes there is a reason. Its called Konu.